The other night I saw a movie scene of a lost man climbing a tree- desperately wanting to get a good view of the forest so he could find his way out. Then a bird flew in his face and he lost his footing and fell to the forest floor. Then this morning I lay startled awake by my phone ringing, I quickly closed my eyes to return to what felt like a very important dream and saw the outline of an electronic bird flapping it’s wings in sync with each cluster of bells and whistles my phone was spitting out at me. Another past due payment trying to collect.
I might have been 80 feet high, on a giant set of old wooden stairs. These stairs were steep and if you lost your footing you could fall through them. I was trying to rig a rope from the top platform which bore the entrance to my home on the ship, to the bottom of the dock. I had to weave my arms through each step as I slowly backed down so I could guide the rope along with me. I had already messed it up once before. I was doing all of this to get the rope out of the way so I could paint these old weathered stairs.
I wanted to make things better. I was trying to fix things. I was doing this despite the fact that my knees felt weak and I was partially frozen with fear from the height. I had to stop everything and hold very still while I focused on taking a deep slow breath and counted to 10. I was really up here doing this, I thought to myself. After my moment of silence I began to notice that with each breath came intent and strength. I was really doing this! I thought. And for a moment I admired my determination. I was going to beat this.
That is when my phone rang.
Birds are wonderful but not when they’re flying in your face.